Bouncing Back
Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, to adjust or adapt well after something bad happens.
Characteristics of resilient children and how to develop them:
· Competence – give opportunities to master specific skills or strengths. Start small, when completed, compliment them on their effort.
· Confidence – focus on specific praise that’s tied to efforts not intelligence.
· Connected (to the People Around Them) – be there when they face setbacks, encourage them to try again and recognize their progress.
· (Secure in Their) Character – teach standards they should follow, to help them feel confident they’ll know how to act in different situations.
· (That they’re) Contributors – they believe their actions make a difference so ask how they helped the group succeed.
· (Able to) Cope – think about the challenge as a stumbling block to overcome, and manage their emotions when faced with adversity.
· (In) Control – with consistent caregivers, a predictable routine and clear boundaries they feel less stress and are more connected to the people around them.
Children learn resiliency best when their environment…
· Offers care and support.
· Holds high expectations for behaviour, attitude and work ethic.
· Encourages active, meaningful participation in family, school and community activities.
Four important characteristics for developing a resilient faith:
1: Intergenerational relationships – let them into the learning process of how you handle difficult faith issues and stress/disappointment. Seeing it from their role model helps them understand resilience and incorporate it.
2. Whole Gospel – we want children to develop a more robust understanding of the gospel, one that integrates faith into all aspects of life; one where they rely on God for strength and hope.
3. Partnership with families – parents are the number one influencers for young people’s spirituality. The ‘daily debrief’ is a tool to keep an eye on children’s developing perspectives, assumptions, beliefs and conclusions about life, God, others and themselves. Each person shares one good thing, one bad thing, one God thing.
4. A safe place for doubt – Questions are not toxic to faith; silence is. Young people want conversations in response to their hardest questions, not just answers.
Support in times of crisis:
· Listening – listen, help them express worries and fears, never force a child to talk, recognise mixed emotions
· Talking – be honest, saying you don’t know is ok, remember body language talks too, reinforce your child is safe
· Restore Balance – get back to old routines, find ways to help others, limit exposure to media
Remember, we’re not alone. Philippians 4:12 – I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (NIV)